LAGOS TRAFFIC: How To Survive Its Menace

Lagos Traffic

Hi there! It’s the weekend, yeah, but in this city, that doesn’t mean less going-out (y’all ALWAYS go out), and because I care about your well-being, I’ll be taking you through a few steps on surviving the menace that is Lagos traffic. Try to keep up.

1.) ONLY GO IF IT’S ABSOLUTELY IMPORTANT

You know how they say “Prevention is better than cure” right? Well, this is more a preventive measure than anything else. One of the best ways to survive Lagos traffic is to not even be in it at all. It’s very good for your sanity trust me.

If you have a 9-5 (or any other business that makes you commute everyday during the week), in all honesty, I least expect you to be on the road again on the weekend (“suffer no dey tire you??”) especially if it’s not a paricularly urgent or important outing.

Try to stay home and rest on weekends as much as possible. And if you feel the absolute need to go out to “chill”, in your own interests, just visit someone or someplace close to you.

2.) DON’T DRIVE IN LAGOS TRAFFIC, UNLESS YOU ABSOLUTELY MUST

So after all the above warning, you still decided that you must go out and “chop life” abi?? Okay o. But since you have decided, and nobody can change your stance, here’s some advice I hope you will take: as much as possible, DO NOT DRIVE BY YOURSELF!

Lagos city is not for the faint-hearted o, there are all kinds of characters in Lagos traffic who seem like their sole purpose for being in traffic with you, is to frustrate you, and that might really get you emotional if you’re not thick-skinned.

But here’s the good news, it’s a lot more peaceful when you’re in an Uber, with AC and music, completely oblivious to the world outside the car (but hopefully not to the meter’s reading sha).

3.) IT’S OKAY TO TAKE A BUS, BUT TAKE YOUR “BUS PACK” ALONG

Okay, maybe you haven’t heard of this one before, but there’s something called the BUS PACK if you’re commuting or traveling by bus, and especially in Lagos. What’s the “Bus Pack”? Simple. It’s your earphones, handkerchief, face-mask, bottle of water/drink and your “change”.

If you use the Lagos commercial bus (Danfo) system regularly or fairly regularly, you know you need all these things I mentioned. Earphones, for blocking out noise from other passengers (except it’s gist sha. Bus gist dey sweet LOL) and fellow road users, face-mask for reasons we already know, and then the handkerchief plus bottle of water/drink is for the heat. Lagos heat respects NOBODY.

Please this is very important o, keep your guard up!

4.) IF YOU MUST DRIVE IN LAGOS TRAFFIC, ROAD RAGE IS PARAMOUNT

So, you want to drive in Lagos traffic without being ready to get your “road rage” on?? Ah that’s rather hilarious LOL. My friend jazz up! Nobody is your friend in Lagos traffic o, you need all the “agidi” you can muster because as I mentioned somewhere up there, Lagos traffic isn’t for the faint-hearted.

You need to be ready to give back whatever kind of energy you’re met with in because trust me, driving in the thick of Lagos traffic, is a battle which suffereth violence, and the violent taketh it by force.

Always remember this when driving in Lagos: ROAD RAGE IS PARAMOUNT. Jazz up dear.

5.) IF YOU DON’T WANT PRESSURE, LEAVE AN HOUR BEFORE

This might be the last point here, but it’s not the least, definitely. If you detest arriving somewhere already under pressure, then it is advisable that you leave home (or wherever you’re coming/going from) at least ONE hour before the set time.

Sometimes you need more than an hour though, especially if it’s a Mainland to Island trip, or vice versa. Traffic on the island, and on the Third Mainland Bridge, will stress you, so you’re better off leaving early enough so you don’t arrive your destination in a foul mood.

If however, you live in places like Ikorodu, Ikotun, Ojodu, Ejigbo, and all those places on the outskirts of Lagos, see just take a plane to wherever you’re going or leave the night before. That’s your best bet o, because I really don’t know what you’re looking for up and down.

Yeah, so this is the end of this piece but I hope it’s been engaging and informative enough. Please take seriously all the advice I’ve given o, you’ll thank me later, trust me.

Thank you for reading, and I’ll be back next time. See ya!

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